Monday, May 30, 2016

Grandma's Quilt and Writing Assignment #19 - Grandparents


My hands were shaking making the scissors quiver. I was just about to take the first cut in the quilt that lay spread out on my Aunt's living room floor.  I was at one corner and my Aunt was at the corner on the far side, her silver scissors were opened, positioned and ready to cut as well.  But I looked up at her and said “I can’t!” to which she replied, “I can’t either!” and we dropped our scissors.

We had decided that we would cut the quilt into small squares and make pillows for all of the cousins coming to the Family Reunion.  The quilt was made with a riot of colored fabric in a crazy patch quilt style with chicken scratch stitches.  Sounds a bit out of control but it was quite elegant and had been a wedding gift given to our dear Grandma and had been made by her Mother and Grandmother as my Aunt remembered.  

It had a few tatters but was in otherwise quite good shape considering its age of 80 years at that time.

We had cut and sewn an heirloom tablecloth that had been in the family for well over 100 years before the previous reunion and had made little stuffed teddy bears and hearts for the family.

But as we sat there on our knees with scissors in hand this time…we couldn’t cut. 

My Aunt said, “I think that somebody doesn’t want us to cut up this quilt!”  

“I’m getting the same message!” I whispered.

So we ever so carefully folded it up and I said, “Now what?”  

“Well it’s supposed to stay in one piece for somebody and I think you should take it!”   

I humbly accepted her gift and carried it back home and carefully wrapped it in tissue paper and tucked it into a antique oak steamer trunk in my sewing room. I knew that the day would come when it was to be presented to its intended owner, so I waited and waited and over the years I forgot about it.

20 years later, my dear sister was visiting. She lived nearly 2,000 miles away and so the visits were infrequent but oh so cherished!  She was staying with Mother but on the last morning of her visit, I woke up suddenly, sat straight up and said right out loud, "The Quilt!  It's time and it's for her!"

"WHAT?  HUH? Oh OK, well...good", Dale stammered in his sleep and I laughed as I watched him roll back over and instantly start snoring again.  I couldn't wait though to get up and get it wrapped in the prettiest paper I could find!

My sister has had it hanging in her homes for the last 15 years.  It's perfect for her. She's a quilter and appreciates and loves every stitch and every piece of fabric and feels a unique connection to our dear quilting grandmothers when she looks at it!  They wanted it to be hers and at just that time, no sooner for some reason.

I have felt that way lately too.  Feeling like I am being given little gifts of opportunities now for this time in my life.  A time when I need them most. And although I thought I needed them long before now and some I didn't even know I needed at all...the right time is now.

It seems there is a plan!!!  

I guess the trick is keeping that in mind and if we're doing all that we can do then like the song says.. 
"Your world's not falling apart it's falling into place".   

Patiently waiting, working and believing and then those experiences and opportunities start fitting neatly into place into this crazy quilt that we call life.  It's all good.

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WRITING ASSIGNMENT 19 - GRANDPARENTS

Its time to write about your grandparents!  If you knew them, describe how they each looked from your point of view.  Not from photos but from your memory.

Write a page (or 2 or 3 or more) on each of these 4 people.  Give their full names, their parents names, their date and place of birth and when and where they were married.

Now share the stories about them that you know.  Things from their past and experiences that you shared together.

If you didn't know them, try to contact someone who did.  Piece together a biography for them with dates, photos, stories and any unique physical and/or personality traits, or life learning or altering experiences that made them who they were.

Knowing who they were helps us understand who we are!  

If they came to this country from another country try to find out why they came.  What they left behind etc.  

Have fun with this one.  It's a journey well worth your time!

Hint: ancestry.com is a great place to find info you may not already have!





Tuesday, May 24, 2016

SOMEWHERE and Writing Assignment #18 Ages 1-5


I missed it again.  The day came and went like any other day. Just as it has done for the last 35 years. It fell on a Saturday this year…that day that marks the anniversary of the death of my dear Father.
 
My sister reminded me of it today. I shed a shameful tear, how could I have forgotten?  And then she reminded me of that other day many years ago when Mother stood silently and alone at his grave. With flowers from her garden filling her arms, her eyes were drawn to the date etched into his headstone. A date she had come to hate. A day to mourn. A day to feel sad that he didn’t get to enjoy retirement with her or to spend lazy days fishing with his grandsons in the nearby mountain lakes. And then she felt his voice, calm and clear, telling her that he didn’t want her to mourn that day but to celebrate it as a graduation time for him.

They believed as I do, and even more poignantly now since I have lost both of them and my dear Dale, that death is not the end. Death is really a beginning—another step forward in Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. 

Like it will be for all of us, their physical bodies died. But their spirits did not die, they went to the spirit world, where they continue to learn and progress and are with other loved ones who have passed on.  It’s not an end but a continuation.  I’m happy for them and yet, well my arms are empty.  Some days they seem to ache because they are so empty.  How many times did I use my arms to hold and to be held for them to feel such a keen sense of emptiness now?

I heard a beautiful rendition of the song “Somewhere” from West Side Story just now.  I cried as each word made perfect sense to me, more so than any other time I have heard it before. I was thinking of Dale and Dad and Mother and it gave me hope and a feeling of peace that I can wrap my arms around as I ponder… there’s a place for us, somewhere, somehow, someday we’ll be together again. A place to be together again with time to do all that we want to do.

There's a place for us, somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air wait for us somewhere.
There's a time for us, some day a time for us, time together with time to spare, time to learn, time to care, some day!
We'll find a new way of living, we'll find a way of forgiving, somewhere . . .
Hold my hand and we're halfway there.  Hold my hand and I'll take you there Somehow, Some day, Somewhere! 


Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim


I know that the day will come when Dale will take my hand and take me there.  I’m not in a hurry mind you, there are things I still want to do here but someday, somehow, we’ll be together again. It’s such a beautiful thing isn’t it?



WRITING ASSIGNMENT #18 
Ages 1 -5

Remember to put your answers to these question in a conversational type of writing, don't just give quick answers to the questions.  Go ahead and give the details!! 
  • What stories have you been told about yourself as a baby?
  • What is your earliest memory?
  • What was your favorite past time as a child (ages 1-5)
  • Who were your friends during this time period?  Describe them.
  • Any traumatic experiences at this time?
  • Any learning experiences about life?
  • Finish this sentence....Since childhood I have always had a fascination with...




Thursday, May 19, 2016

Captain of My Own Sailboat Now - and Writing Assignment #17 Father part 3 of 3




My time alone since the day that Dale died marches on regardless of my sorrow.  I used to wonder how it was possible that the sun could still rise and set, how the spring buds could still burst into a riot of happiness followed by the fruit of summer and then without the courtesy of asking for my approval display the golden leaves of autumn. How could the silent snowflakes fall again and create winter wonderlands all around me when there is such a void in my world? 

I just came upon a photo of Dale that I haven’t seen in probably 30 years.  It was a professional photo taken for business that he had simply tucked away in a file folder. At first I paused while the memory of that time in our life crossed over my heart and my mind tried to divert it away to prevent an emotional “feeling sorry for myself moment”.  I realized in that instant that my mind often does that automatically now - a way of self-preservation I assume.  But this time I called the memory back. I wanted to think about it.  I wanted to swirl it around and enjoy it, I wanted to savor it.  It was a good time.  A precious moment.  Why would I want to forget it! 

There are moments in life that change us forever.  Of course the day he died. But also the day we met. The day we married.  The days our sons were born. The day I stood with my back to his heart and he cradled me in his arms as we drifted down the Seine in Paris on the deck of the bateaux mouches. It was a January day with snow falling and we had the good fortune of having the bow of the vessel to ourselves while we snuggled to stay warm and delighted in sharing our memory moments together and looked forward to a happy forever making many more memories.

Why would I want to suppress these memories?  The good ones as well as the sad ones? 

My dear Mother suffered from dementia and would have given anything to be able to recall any memories at all.  Perhaps it’s time that I free my mind from what has become a natural response of protecting myself from the heartbreak of the memories and face them all head on not as a painful reminder of what I’ve lost but as a welcomed gift of precious moments that I can remember.

On a trip to Hawaii many years ago Dale purchased a CD that I quickly slid into the disk player in the convertible car we had rented and with the intoxicating smell of the coconut suntan lotion we had slathered on ourselves and pineapple smoothies in our drink holders, we explored the island with the Hawaiian songs wafting through the air that is fragrant with aroma of plumeria blossoms.

I remembered that the cd has been sitting unheard on my playlist for many years so I only hesitated a moment before I located it and clicked play and for once I allowed the memories to flow freely and wash over me like a soft Hawaiian waterfall.  I like it. I am free.  Free to remember.

I find myself swaying to the comforting voice of Keali’I’Reichel singing Kawaipunahale.  I close my eyes and I can see Dale sitting next to me driving the car, tan and happily contented as we drive along the coast looking at the cobalt blue water and brilliant white sailboats.  It’s a precious memory and I smile and as I concentrate on those peaceful sailboats suddenly a song plays on the album as if it’s just for me this time as Keali’i sings it:

Come Sail Away

I'm sailing away, I set an open course for the virgin sea
And I've got to be free
Free to face the world that's ahead of me

On board I'm the captain, so climb a board
We can search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had

We've been happy forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try as best as we can to carry on

On board I'm the captain, so climb a board
We can search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on
To carry on, to carry on

I can almost hear Mother telling me to hold on to every memory, to be free from constraint.  So I am the captain of my sailing ship now, and I can search for tomorrow on every shore and as reflections in the waves spark my memory…and since we missed the pot of gold of a long life of making memories together, I will carry on with a new contentment in having memories whether they bring on heartache or joy.  They are all precious moments of my life.  

If you’d like to hear Keali’i sing this song, go to Youtube.com and type in Come Sail Away Keali’i’ Reichel.  The graphics on the video are poor quality but just close your eyes and enjoy. 

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #17 FATHER part 3 of 3


  • ·         What responsibilities did your father require of you as a child and/or teenager? Explain how this affected your growth and development.

  • ·         What advice or counsel did he give you, personally, spiritually, financially and for school/business? What did that advice mean to you then and now?

  • ·         In what ways are you like your father?

Thursday, May 12, 2016

HOW I HAVE MY EGG and Writing Assignment # 16 Father-part 2 of 3


I am of the very humble opinion that everyone should have a summer lodge in their life.  Nestled in a forest of lodge pole pines it welcomes you in with the harmonious aromas of bacon frying in the kitchen, split logs burning in the fireplace and comfy leather chairs that just seem to say, RELAX and enjoy yourself. 

Some of my earliest memories are sitting in the big wooden chairs up to the big wooden table with the mug of wildflowers as a centerpiece in the big log dining room at the lodge with its stuffed bears looking down on us.  The waitress wearing an apron over her jeans and wielding a wooden pencil and an order pad moved from person to person around the table asking each family member for their order. I knew I would have bacon, hash browns and an egg and I would always request that my egg be prepared Sunny-Side-Up!  I adored the sound of it ~ Sunny-Side-Up.  I loved saying it. Sunny-Side-Up.  It had a happy ring to it.  And that fit with how I felt.

I did, however, after time, determine that I didn’t really care for the taste of Sunny-Side-Up eggs as the yolk was often times a little too liquid for my liking.  So alas, I reluctantly started to say I’ll have my eggs Scrambled. 

“Scrambled”…what a lackluster thing to say and truth be told a confusing way to start a day, but that’s what it was until…one day when I was about 8 years old and we were having Sunday brunch at an elegant grand old hotel sitting on an elegant chair around an elegant table with its white table cloth, silver service ware and crystal goblets and its vase of perfectly elegant roses as a centerpiece.

My dear, proper, elegant great aunt sitting next to me told the waiter (a well manicured man dressed in a tux and wielding a memory that held every order without taking notes) that she would like her eggs prepared as “Eggs Benedict”.  Eggs Benedict…my life changed at that moment. 

Over the years as I traveled around the country and around the world I would go to elegant places and order “Eggs Benedict” for breakfast.  I liked the way it sounded and I loved the way it tasted.

When the children had grown and Dale started doing more of the cooking he picked up on his love of omelets ~ a taste developed in Paris. He said that every Parisian grandmother felt she had the perfect omelet recipe and technique and he learned a few.  So on lazy Saturday mornings I would request Dale’s omelets as my egg preparation of choice.  But alas, his secret to making perfect omelets died along with him.

And so now, with it being just me and after all I have seen and done and lived through, I find that I tend to order my egg…”Over Easy”.  That fits now.  I like how it sounds.  "Over Easy". And it leads me into a gentle, pleasant, “avoid any undue stress” kind of a good day.  Over Easy. It’s a good way to start a good day for someone my age. I absolutely, positively refuse to start my day Hard Boiled!  

But I do love that little bright eyed girl that still lives inside of me, that cheerfully ordered Sunny-Side-Up to start the morning. And I'm glad my life memories started out with breakfast at the summer lodge.

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #16 - FATHER part 2 of 3

What was your father's attitude...
  • toward life...
  • toward religion...
  • toward politics... 
  • toward your mom....
  • toward you

Describe a tender moment, a special outing, a learning experience and/or the nicest thing he ever did for you!

Tell about your relationship with your Dad, i.e., did you play catch? If you didn't, did that bother you, if you did, what did that mean to you.  Etc.

What did you do when you had time together.




Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Sister Memories and Writing Assignment #15 - Father part 1 of 3




          Two sisters, the first day of summer and a log cabin.  These are the things memories are made of! But first...to get there. The anticipation was almost unbearable but thanks to our parents, the car ride there was always part of the summertime pleasure.

As we made our way through the sun-baked farmlands, Mother would “ooh and ah” over the abundance of wild flowers lining the highway, calling them by name and wishing that she could stop and pick a bouquet to take with us. Dad would critique the progress of the potato plants and the wheat fields, rather like checking the oven to see if the homemade bread was almost done.

Our hometown radio station would be playing on the car radio.

Occasionally we would stop at a small town on the way and pull into the A&W Drive-In for cold, frosty mugs of root-beer, no ice, the thick glass mugs were so cold that ice wasn’t necessary.  A car-hop would bring a tray and attach it neatly to the outside of Dad’s open window. Dad had a special way of savoring things and enjoying this refreshment was no exception. For two giggly girls and our amused mother, his obvious pleasure was as delicious to us as the root-beer itself.  When we had drained every last drop and the empty, frostless mugs were retrieved by the car-hop, Dad would pay the bill, tell her to “Keep the Change” and we’d be on our way. 

We’d cross the bridge that dissected the river and the conversation would stop as two little girls filled their lungs with air, held on and made a summer wish to be awarded if we could hold our breath form one end of the bridge to the other.  And then we would begin our assent up the foothills to gradually enter the forest. The pines would be sparse at first, embracing large meadows and peaceful ponds but soon we would be enveloped by the majestic firs. Mother would congratulate the trees for “listening to their mothers and standing up so straight and tall.” Dad would say something about soldiers standing at attention and a sort of painful silence would fill the air. (Dad was a combat soldier in World War II). Somberly, we would crest a hill and then, suddenly, Dad would break into song;
When you’ve climbed the highest mountain, when a cloud holds the sunshine in. . . Suddenly there’s a valley, where love and hope begin. Touched only by the seasons, swept clean by the waving grain, surveyed by a happy blue bird and kissed by the falling rains. When you think there’s no bright  tomorrows, when you feel you can’t try again. . . Suddenly there’s a valley, where hope and love begin.”
All was well, we were safe; a little family together and we would soon be at the gate that led to a summer of adventure.  I loved to hop out of the car and “ride” the gate after Dad used his key to open the padlock and remove the chain.  Passing through Ghiberti’s wondrous Gates of Paradise in Florence couldn’t compare to the anticipation of a little girl knowing that a summer with her sister in the forest lay just beyond that simple metal gate!

          A long, bumpy road led us into the forest where a few cabins lay nestled in the trees. A far cry from the huge homes, condos and tennis courts there today!  Soon we were pulling up to the fairy tale cabin Dad and Grandpa had built with their own hands.  My sister and I would burst out of the car and promptly set about doing the things that memories are made of.

          While Mother and Dad unpacked the car we would run to do forest inspection. First “tight-rope” walking on the logs lined up to mark the parking area, and down the lane balancing on more logs to the big swing built between two giant lodge pole pines, with long chains and a green wooden seat…room for two girls.  But I’d lay on the swing on my tummy first and my sister would wind up the chain, around and around I’d go and then….spin spin spin.  I honestly don’t ever remember us being screaming little girls but we sure did laugh, right out loud a lot. Fun was all around us!  Next we’d set the squirrel box.  An apple crate that we would prop up on its side balanced by a stick with a string attached. We’d get it ready now, because after breakfast the next morning we would take one of Dad’s pancakes, put it in the box and carefully walk with the end of the string behind a tree and hide and wait for a squirrel to take the bait.  When he did, we’d pull the string, down came the box and we Got ‘im!  Now what?  We never really knew so we’d tiptoe over, listen to him inside nibbling on the pancake, slowly pull up the box and squeal as he ran free and up a tree.  Sort of catch-and-release squirrel hunters I guess.

          We would run down the path to the lake and out onto the docks where we would lie down on our tummies and watch the minnows darting about in the green water.  Then we’d sit up and dangle our feet in and hope the minnows didn’t nibble on our toes.  Fishing was a big part of the warm summer days and we became quite masterful at it!  Mostly from the boat but sometimes from the docks we would dangle our lines and catch some beauties.  We could catch them, gut them and clean them and even thread a worm on our own hooks.  The fish were plentiful and dinner was caught fresh daily!

                The shady forest floor was always strewn with wildflowers and we would pick a bouquet to take back to Mother inside the cabin…blue lupine, silver bells etc. etc. etc.  She would arrange them in a copper mug and put them up on the fireplace mantel.

            After dinner we would do the dishes with boiling water that had been heated in a kettle on the stove and poured into a dishpan and we would have to toss the soapy water out the door when we were finished.  There was electricity in the house but no plumbing which also meant no bathroom.  There was a public bathroom down the lane near the swing.  It was shared with people from neighboring cabins.

          The evenings at the cabin were blissful.  A roaring fire, curled up in a blanket on the buckskin sofa with the picture of a horse stitched into the back.  Listening to cowboy songs playing on the stereo, songs that lonesome cowpokes would sing sitting around the campfire on starlit nights far from home. 

“I'll keep rolling along - Deep in my heart is a song - Here on the range I belong -Drifting along with the tumblin’ tumbleweeds.”

          Time for bed – Dad would pull the ladder down from the ceiling and two little girls would ascend the rungs to our loft bedroom.  A pitched roof allowed just enough room for our two beds.  Oh how I loved it when the rain pitter pattered against the tin roof at night time.  The loft was open with a single rail made from a lodge pole pine going the full width of the room.  As we lay in bed, the shadows from the flames in the fireplace danced spritely on the walls and ceiling and made the shadow of the cuckoo clock loom large. The cuckoo would check on us every fifteen minutes while lulling us into contented, peaceful sleep...

          ...To this day I can close my eyes and experience day break at the cabin.  The heady smell of cold ashes in the grate, now only a fragrant memory of pine logs blazing cheerfully in the stone fireplace the night before.  The squirrels outside the log cabin chattering back and forth seem to know that my Dad would soon be making pancakes. It always seemed to me that the darling chickadees, high in the pines were looking in the windows and calling my name.  Popping out of bed I scurry over to the log railing to gaze down over the cozy cabin scene.  Sunbeams, spotlighted by the morning sun, stream in the picture windows and dance across the buckskin sofa.  The cuckoo clock, still dutifully pushing the minutes around, reaches the cuckoo and makes him open his door to sing good morning, “cuckoo cuckoo.” The wildflowers from yesterday’s stroll in the forest, hanging limp now, are still fragrant in the copper mug on the mantel. 

          Listening closely I hear the only human sound…the soft, rhythmic, ever comforting snore that I know to be Dad’s. I carefully push down the ladder; quietly descend each rung and finally tip-toe across the polished floor in my bare feet. At the door I slip on my Keds and then slowly twist the doorknob, funny, the door never seems to creak during the day. Once outside, I take a deep breath filling my lungs and soul with fresh mountain air, aromatic with pine pitch and a hint of the rich high mountain soil, thickly carpeted with pine needles. Little droplets of morning dew sparkle on the steps and on the leaves of the wild strawberries. 

          There, hear that? That’s the embracing quiet of a forest morning.  I meander down the lane to the little bathroom in the forest and when I return the household is beginning to stir and I know that breakfast will soon be served.  Oh breakfast in the forest is the best.  My sister and I would sit at our table outside and savor Dad’s pancakes shaped like bunny rabbits with gooey maple syrup, hash browned potatoes and bacon and of course ice cold milk in white mugs.

          I actually don’t ever remember not knowing how to swim.  From the time I was four years old I was flying behind Dad’s speed boat standing on a surf board attached by a ski rope to the boat and a rope with a handle attached to the front of the board to keep me steady.  Around and around the lake we would go!  Zig zagging this way and that; lake water spraying my face and sunshine kissing my nose. Dad told me not to fall off because the big old fish would bite my toes! So when I misread a wave from the wake of the boat and tumbled in I would take a deep breath and tip upside down and watch underwater to make sure no one was down there ready to nibble on me!  I’d be retrieved bottoms up each and every time!

Oh the memories!  As a little girl running through the forest I thought the summer days would never end, that we would always be going there, always be together, always picking wildflowers to put in a copper mug for the mantel.

I'm reminded of the saying: "Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it has become a memory."

It will soon be summer. My dear sister and I took a walk together today.  A walk along the lake, not the same lake of our youth but one that is just as beautiful and once again, after more than 40 years living apart, we are together by the lake.  We paused for just a moment by an old wooden dock that was moving slowly up and down from the little waves that gently reached the shore from a boat that had passed in the distance.  The sound, the gentle swoosh swoosh swoosh took us right back to those summer days filled with the precious moments that are now memories and I made a mental decision to value that moment right then and tuck it away with my other sister memories.

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #15 - FATHER part 1 of 3

Who was your Father? (Full given name), Birth date and birth place

Who were his parents?

Who were his brother(s) and sister(s)?

Describe how your father's parents, brother(s) and sister(s) looked.  Don't just describe a photograph, paint a picture with your words as to how they looked...to you!

Write a memory of your father's about his parents and/or his brother(s) and/or sister(s) that he shared with you.

What did you call your Father?

What did he look like?  Again, paint a word picture. (we'll get to his personality and your relationship with him in part 2 and 3 so just stick to a physical description here)

Where did your father go to work every day?

What did he do?  Did his work interest you?