My First Love and First Loss - Writing Assignment #14 Music/Sports/Hobbies Ages 5-10

We had a beautiful piano in our home that had been handed down in my Father's family. It was an oak upright with intricately carved birds perched on ornate branches. At least ¾ of each bird extended out from the piano, it was an exceptional work of art. 

When I was about 5 years old, my older sister was told that she could take piano lessons! I ached to be able to have this honor and I literally begged to be able to join her. Music had always been something I could “connect” with. I remember listening to the radio or to records and realizing that after each note was played I could guess what the next few notes would be. I thought that music was something extraordinary and would be important in my life, so when they turned to me and said that even though I was too young…I could join her - I was overjoyed. And, I only had to promise to practice and I was to never complain about having to spend the time it would take to learn. I was thrilled and devoted and kept my promise. 

Our teacher seemed very old to me (in reality she was probably no more than 40).  She was thin with mousy colored hair streaked with gray and wore bulky eyeglasses that reminded me of the bottom of soda pop bottles.  Once a week my sister and I would be dropped off at her home and we would place one shiny silver dollar on the piano prior to our turn.  My sister, being the oldest, always took her place at our teacher's black baby grand piano first. The piano was prominently placed in the center of the dining room where normally a dining room table would be located clearly defining her preference for music even over food. 

I’d wait my turn in the adjoining and very peculiar living room. With my silver dollar held tightly in my hand, I would inspect the shelves and tables and window sills that were covered with tiny pianos.  Even the area behind her sofa was a mirror-lined niche with glass shelves also sporting miniature baby grands…porcelain ones, blown glass ones, wooden ones, metal ones!  Pianos Everywhere!  Even though I found them to be mildly entertaining to look at while I awaited my turn…I decided it was excessive and silly and have never had a collection of anything to this day.  

Thirty long minutes later it would be my turn. I would climb up on the bench; my feet wouldn’t touch the floor. The instruction was very brisk and unforgiving. Wrists must be held up and feet must not swing. Questions were forbidden and success was expected and never praised. All this I accepted as the price to pay to unlock the mysteries of the written score.

I loved to play, I loved to practice. I loved everything about it. It was easy and natural for me. My first lesson was to learn the names of the notes. I sat there and looked at all of the 88 black and white keys and thought to myself; “This is going to be quite an accomplishment!”  “ABCDEFG” I recited.  “Next?”  she asked. “H?” I responded questioningly.  “No!” she said.  No? I thought.  It just starts over with A? Well then! This was going to be easy! The notes made sense, flats were a breeze, sharps were incessant trouble and required more thought.

I loved practicing, I would get a handful of pennies from my piggy bank and place them on one side of the piano and play the song, if I did it perfectly I would move a penny to the other side (they would then be “perfect pennies”) and wouldn’t stop until all the pennies were perfect and I was a very hard taskmaster! 

I often practiced with my sister. We loved to play duets; we would get bored playing the regular way so we would often turn around, reach our hands behind us and play backwards or we would play blindfolded or we would take off our shoes and socks, lay down on the bench and play with our bare toes amid fits of giggles. Later, when we lived in a nice home up on the hill, we had 2 pianos, one upstairs and one down. We’d play duets, each on our own piano, and then we’d call down or up to each other and say, “OK now I’ll play the other part!” How did Mother ever stand such frivolity and noise?

Our recitals were held at the church. Often my sister and I would play duets, once even a clever rendition of ChopStix which we finished with a flourish and then curtseyed in unison to our applause. 

I remember playing “Frosty the Snowman” at the elementary school Christmas program when I was in the first grade. The girls were polite, two big fourth-grade boys talked through it…hmmm I was going to have to get some better music!

One day we came home from school to find that our Father had sold the antique piano.  I didn't question his motives, I knew there would be a good reason, but in that moment, I believe that I suffered my first great loss.  A huge part of my life was suddenly, unmistakably and permanently just...gone. 

But the music lives on. Over the years it has brought me comfort in moments of my deepest sorrow, it has calmed my moments of anger as I pounded out Schubert and ended with a gentle Chopin, it has brought me great happiness and inspiration. And it all started with a heartfelt desire and ABCDEFG.

WRITING ASSIGNMENT # 14 MUSIC/SPORTS AGES 5-10

Did you take music lessons as a child? (Age 5-10) Describe your teacher, your instrument, your practice, your performances etc. (Comment on how this experience helped shape your life)

Did you play sports as a child? (Ages 5-10) Describe the game field, your position, your coach and any events or turning points that stand out in your mind. (comment on how this experience helped shape your life)

Did you have another hobby (building things, sewing things etc) as a child (ages 5-10) Describe your passion, your teacher, your prized possession. (Comment on how this experience helped shape your life)

Back and Forth - Back and Forth Writing Assignment #13 Mother part 3 of 3

I remember the day, my mother (a widow of one year and only 57 years of age) sat in her home rocking slowly back and forth, back and forth in the antique wooden rocking chair that her own mother had for many years rocked back and forth back and forth.

Mother’s mind was filled with sadness for her great loss and angst for a future spent alone rocking back and forth, when it dawned on her that her family all lived well into their 80’s.  Could she spend 25 plus years merely rocking back and forth but never getting anywhere?

“No!” she said and she stood up from that rocking chair that for years had been a source for rocking babies to sleep, meditation for solving problems and comfort when in mourning and without looking back Mother made plans for her future.  She enrolled at the university taking classes she had always wanted to take; she bought a new red car; got a job doing what she always loved doing and she eventually remarried; traveled the world; did massive amounts of church work and loved her grandchildren; cried in happiness at their weddings and as great grandchildren arrived on earth she kissed them; loved them and they knew and adored her.

At 88 years old she slipped away from us leaving a legacy of a loving woman who fulfilled her time on earth with an elegant joie de vie.

This leads me to our 3^rd and final writing assignment that is about your mother - (feel  free to add more thoughts and remembrances as they occur to you!) Reread all that you have written in the 3 assignments on "Mother" and add photographs.

ASSIGNMENT #13  MOTHER -  Part 3

What was your mother’s attitude toward:

• Life
• Religion 
• Your father

Describe a tender moment, a special outing, a learning experience and/or the nicest thing your mother ever did for you.

Has your mother passed away?  Tell how it happened, how it affected you and how you are doing now.

If you could use 5 words to describe your mother…what would they be?

I've Always Got the Time Writing Assignment #12 - Mother part 2 of 3

ASSIGNMENT #12 - MOTHER PART 2 OF 3

I adore my sweet sister for so many things, one being the moments when she turns her head just so or unknowingly holds her mouth in just such a way or sighs when she thinks no one is looking that she becomes our mother.  Our beautiful, loveable mother.

She also knows how to make homemade jam with the same delectable flavors of Mother's.  Today we sat in my sister's lovely white kitchen and nibbled on whole wheat toast with butter and rhubarb jam.

It was just like being at Mother’s, the same “I’ve always got the time” atmosphere filled the room making the jam taste even better and the conversation satisfying and pleasant.

There’s an old saying that “Sooner or later we all quote our mothers” and my sister and I are proof of it!  Without trying we find that we quote her words, her mannerisms and her love for toast and jam and do it with an enormous amount of love and devotion.  We miss her. It has been three years this week since she passed away. I didn't dream then that 9 short months later Dale would be gone too. Two huge losses of two towering influences in my life.

It has been a tough journey for me without them but as it was once said "There’s a reason some people think they can do anything…they listened to their mothers.

Thank you dear Mother! Oh and I so hope you found your little gray kittens waiting for you in heaven.

Here’s Assignment 2 of 3 about Mother:

How did your mother spend her day?

Did she have a job or do volunteer work outside the home? (Don’t just say yes or no, bring the details and stories she told here)

Did she hold church callings? (Same instruction as above…write the experiences you remember her sharing/having)

What responsibilities did your mother require of you as a child?

Explain how this effected your growth and development.

Things We have Learned Writing Assignment #11 - Mother part 1 of 3

       

This is one of my photographs taken long before Dale died.  It is a bloom from one of his favorite peony plants in our yard.  He was so delighted with my photo that it makes me happy looking at it today.  I treasure these simple happy memories!

I love this quote by Ardeth G. Kapp:

"It has been said said that the farther back we look, the farther ahead we can see.  With that thought in mind, we can be grateful for the experiences that have taught us valuable life lessons."

And it was Winston Churchill who is credited with saying: "The farther you look back the farther you can look forward."

This is one of the purposes in writing our autobiographies.  Things we have learned along life's journey can not only help us with the decisions we are faced with today but it can help those we love learn from our experiences and be able to stand upon our shoulders in the decisions they must make in their own life journeys.

Few people in our lives are more influential, in one way or the other, than our mothers.  There will be three weeks devoted to her, each with different questions...so here we go!

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #11 - MOTHER - Part 1 of 3

• Who was your Mother?  (Her full name and what you called her)
• What did she look like? (describe here as you see her in your memory not of a photograph)

• Describe how she dressed

• Tell about your mother's cooking. Can you recall your favorite meal.  Include recipes here if you have them.
• Who were her parents?
• When and where was she born?
• Who were her brothers and sisters.
• Describe your mother's parents, brothers and sister looked. (Remember, don't describe a photo, use words to tell how they looked, acted and talked from your perspective!)

• Write about a memory of your mother that she shared with you about her parents and/or her brothers and sisters.

I've written these in bullet points, but write it out like a story using your own personal style - It will flow!

Until next Thursday.....

It's Only Time and Writing Assignment #10

I stared dumbfounded at the doctor.

He stared dumfounded at me.

It was just an annual checkup. Everything physically is normal, no complaints but he asked if I was ever depressed. I said, “Well I still miss my husband, that’s a bit depressing!”

He said, “How long has it been?”

I said, “Two years”.

With the tsk tsk of his tongue and a shake of his head I didn’t have to hear the words he was thinking…two years was enough, I should get over it.

As I looked at him my mind swirled and my heart ached. It occurred to me that I had been married over 40 years which is longer than this young doctor has been alive. Can you say…well you’ve lived your life for 42 years, now get over it?

I looked away.

When I looked back his look was still one of incredulity so I just forced a smile and asked when I needed to come back. “Unless you sprain an ankle….not until next year” he said.

I walked to the car and climbed in. The days are finally starting to warm up and it felt cozy inside. I put the key in the ignition but instead of turning it, I laid my head back, absorbed the sunshine and allowed my mind to wander. Am I boring people with my journey? Does everyone else think it’s time for me to get over it?

When I roll over in bed at night and the moonlight glows on an empty pillow next to me where Dale should be…must I just “get over it?”.

When there is something clever, or beautiful, or funny or amazing and I want to share it with him but he’s not there…do I just “get over it?”.

I think of the words to an Enya song,

Who can say where the road goes?

Where the day flows?

Only time

Perhaps time works differently for each of us. To a child two years is incomprehensible, to a 14 year old wanting to get a driver’s license at 16, two years seems to be an eternal stretch of never ending months and to a young doctor - its ample time for a widow to get over the loss of her husband. For me, is two years enough?

Suddenly, too warm now, I drive home not having arrived at an answer deciding instead to think about it another day….

So, today I’m sitting at my art table painting a rainy April day picture that I will give the caption “No showers, no flowers”. Pandora is playing my favorite songs – gentle instrumentals that make me feel happy and creative. I suddenly realize I’m listening to an instrumental of the song “I’ve loved you for a thousand years and I’ll love you for a thousand more.”

And my heart skips a beat, the way it does when your mind grasps onto something important.

My mind goes back to Enya....

And who can say if your love grows

As your heart chose?

Only time

Time told me that my love continued to grow for nearly half a century as my heart chose. I made my choice and it was more than a “til death do we part” choice.

Who can say why your heart sighs

As your love flies?

Only time

So my dear reader, in my concern that you are also feeling that it’s time for me to get over it and since I’m now convinced that for what will seem like a thousand years my heart will sigh with no prospect and amazingly no desire of ever "getting over it" until Dale and I are together again, I will move on to writing about something else. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.  I have appreciated your kind comments so very much. I am stronger, I am braver, I am more determined and I am more independent, I'm just not over it!

So now....

I have been remiss in posting the weekly questions for you to write your autobiography! I’m so sorry.

So let’s go forward with this:

• Enjoy every Moment
• Be Fearless
• Breathe Deeply
• Always Believe in Yourself
• Follow your Heart and
• WRITE YOUR STORY

I will post a new assignment every Thursday with love and a sincere belief that everyone has a story and it should be told. And with the assignments you will do it in a year’s time. Now that’s a time period we can all agree upon!

I have posted 9 assignments so far, please go back through the posts if you have missed any. Assignment #10 is here:

AUTOBIOGRAPHY ASSIGNMENT #10

GRANDPARENTS' HOMES

Describe your grandparents' houses. From your perspective, how YOU remember each home. Was it an old house? Tell us about it's cracking paint or it's squeaky door or the mature trees in the yard for example or perhaps it was ultra modern?  Paint pictures with your words.

Did you visit their homes often? Why or why not? (Don't include too many details of the lives of the people here, just the homes and yards etc)

Where did you play? What did you play? What was the spirit of the home?

Close your eyes and be there and now open your eyes and WRITE!! No one can tell it like you!