There it was. I felt it! Undeniable and yet so real - but it was only for a brief instant. Heading out to my car to drive to the lake for a morning walk and wearing a light weight jacket (a decision based upon the weather forecast for cooler temps) there it was…that sensation of “There's a touch of autumn in the air”. An awakening of the senses for just a blink and yet the hope of hot apple cider or caramel apples or pulling on a sweater and curling up with a good book fill my very being.
The morning is bright and crisp, not a cloud in the sky. As
I drive, a few leaves swirl down from a tree and one lands on my windshield and
lodges itself on a wiper. I happily welcome it along for the ride. I stop at a red light and watch a big yellow
school bus drive by. Every window is occupied by wide eyed children undoubtedly
dressed in new school clothes, clinging tightly to new backpacks filled with new
pencils and notebooks and the lunch Mom prepared that will have a little note
of encouragement taped on top of the sandwich bag – a source of comfort and embarrassment
for the little one trying to feel grown up and independent on the first day of
school.
Parking at the lake I spy a large new flock of geese making their approach. Squawking in
excitement they break their V- formation as they reach their destination from their
colder northern summer home and settle happily onto the calm water.
The sky is a brilliant blue, the sun is bright and casts diamonds on the water making it
necessary to pull on my sunglasses but it isn’t a hot sun, I’m glad to have
worn the jacket.
The walk is delightful and invigorating and I drive home
with a happy heart.
I shower, wrap my hair in a towel and getting dressed I spy
a blouse from last autumn hanging in the closet. Perfect I think. I put it on and then discover that the last
button is….horrors of horrors…TIGHT!
NOOOOO!!! How can that be?
And that one button, that one small brown button made from a
pinch of a fragile seashell has the power to open a Pandora’s box. My mind is
flooded with discouragement, disappointment and all of those demoralizing “Why Try” items on an imaginary list…Why try dieting, why try walking, why try exercising, why try writing,
why try painting, why try doing anything, I’m alone, I’m all of the deplorable THIS's and I’m definitely
not all of the desirable THAT's! Down – down - down it takes me and then… Imagine the sound of screeching brakes
and tires here as a very powerful thought comes to my mind….
“WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE!”
Oh! I have to sit now! I write it down on a post-it note and put it
on the refrigerator door.
Who’s in charge here??? Well...I AM.
Not that little button on the blouse, or anything that someone might
say, or any memory of loss or any ache or pain.
All of these things can open that Pandora’s box but I can close it just as
quickly if I realize that “I AM IN CHARGE HERE!” And just realizing that weakens the power of
those little jabs.
It’s all part of life’s journey isn’t it? Discovering who we
are, we - who are each so incredibly unique that there is no one else quite like us
and yet we spend a lifetime trying to figure out why we are here, what purpose
do we need to fulfill during our turn on earth that is unique to us? How do we get to and then stay en pointe? How do we conquer the negative thoughts? I take off the blouse and put it back on the hanger (with a little work it will fit
just fine next week) and I slip into a more comfortable one.
Going to the fridge I look at the note again…Who’s in Charge
Here?” I open the door and pull out
everything required for a healthy lunch which I make with a feeling of power
and happily take my plate to the deck to be able to see the silvery light still
glistening on the water in the distance as the last of the summer boats speed by. It might take
some practice, this mastering of being in control of what thoughts escape from the dreaded Pandora's box of the mind, but I’m determined not to inadvertently miss or ruin anything while
I’m working on myself. Especially not the gossamer touch of autumn that is in the air today.
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WRITING ASSIGNMENT
#31 – MARRIAGE PART 2
- Describe your first home together.
- Tell of your dreams and plans and goals as newlyweds for your future together.
- Tell about the other homes that you have shared together. Where were they? What were they like, how much did they cost?
- Share how you worked together, played together, worshiped together, planned together, raised children together, vacationed together and what made your marriage work.
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