Keeping Down the Overwhelm & Writing Assignment #33 Work

Some days you just need some beauty to keep down the overwhelm.  Today was just such a day so I picked up my camera (albeit reluctantly) and went looking for beauty. This is what I found.....

For the beauty of the earth

For the joy of ear and eye

For the heart and brain's delight

Linking sense to sound and sight

(From the hymn by Folliott S. Pierpoint 1864)

And...I feel better. To think I would have missed all of this if I'd just stayed home and pouted the way I wanted to!

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WRITING ASSIGNMENT #33 WORK WORK WORK

What was the first job you  have after High School?

Why did you chose this job?

Tell what you did, and what it was like there:

1. The Place
2. The people
3. Your Boss
4. What you wore
5. How much $ you made.

How it influenced you for future job/career choices

What led you to your current line of work or career?

How did your level of education influence your career?

Tell about each job that you have had - describing the above 1. 2. 3. 4. and if you want 5.

Share your successes as well as your learning experiences. 

Making a Mountain Out of A Mole and Writing Assignment #32 - Answered Prayers

It all started with a mole, in the dead center of my back where it can only be reached with a yoga like contortion struggle.  Well, it started to itch on Friday night. All weekend, itch, itch, itch.  Day and night.

Monday morning I decided to google it…hmmm funny how the noun google has transformed into a verb now…but I digress…what I quickly found in my search is that an itchy mole is a potential sign of cancer.

I found the telephone number of a dermatologist center and called. 

“Umm I don’t know if I’m over reacting here but I have a mole that is itching like crazy and…”

“We need to get you in!” she interrupted.

My fears building at this point.

“We had a cancellation for this morning; can you come in right away?”

Driving there my mind quickly entered that realm where one defines and then entertains the worst case scenario.  What if the doctor says I have cancer and that I have six months to live?

Frankly, I didn’t know what to pray for!  Six months to be able to be with Dale wasn’t a bad possibility. Six months to get everything done I’ve ever wanted to do…well that would be an impossibility. Not being around to see my grandchildren grow and experience life? Oh that doesn’t seem possible at all!  So I simply prayed: “Thy will be done”; parked the car; took a deep breath and feeling a bit numb, headed toward the clinic doors.

Forty five minutes later I was back in the car, the mole had been removed and the prognosis was that it was not the cancerous type.

I put the keys in the ignition and just then noticed I had parked under a tree with the most vibrant yellow autumn leaves.  It was good to be alive.  Although my emotions did a little flip flop back and forth between: Sorry Dale, won’t be seeing you any time soon, to Woo-Hoo I'm going to live, to Oh dear how do I make every day count!

Truth be told I’ve never been a real fan of the “Live every day as if it were your last” statement as it’s a bit overwhelming.  Yes, it’s good to use it as a barometer for being “good” but as far as getting everything done, well it is a bit daunting.  I guess that comes from too many Christmas Eve’s or big projects that require a massive amount of last minute work!  LOL.  Easy to get overwhelmed if that’s the daily plan.

But the truth is, I’m very aware of my many family members and friends who fill their days with great humanitarian projects. They are doing such good in the world!  Major things that I am incapable of doing now. So of what value is this time? I'm discouraged. And yet, in answer to my prayer, evidently the Lord’s will is that I stick around for a while.

I drive home still feeling relieved but disturbed at the same time.

I realize I hadn’t checked the mail so I reach inside my mailbox and pull out a letter from my 6 year old grandson that I couldn't wait to open before driving into the garage.  A precious “I love Grandma” note written in his kindergarten hand. Talk about a reason for living! 

My heart is gladdened although still troubled by what I have to offer at this point in my life.  I come to my computer and open up my email.  The daily message reads:

"As daughters of God we are each unique and different in our circumstances and experiences. And yet our part matters—because we matter." —Elaine S. Dalton

And then I remember the little wooden plaque I saw the other day…

It reminds me of the children’s song I learned at church so many many years ago, I start singing:

My light is but a little one,

My light of faith and prayer;

But lo! it glows like God's great sun,

For it was lighted there.

I may not hide my little light;

The Lord has told me so.

'Tis given me to keep in sight,

That all may see it glow.

Shine on, shine on, shine on bright and clear;

Shine on, shine on now the day is here.

Yes…Now the day is here. A gift t'would seem and perhaps what I have to give, even though it’s small is enough if it’s given whole-heartedly, certainly a widow’s mite in comparison.But it's what I have.  A day that started with fear, ended with resolve - To do what I can, giving freely of my little light for the rest of my life, which very well could be longer than 6 months now!

(Words and music to Shine On: Joseph Ballantyne, 1868-1944)

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WRITING ASSIGNMENT #32 - Answered Prayers

Tell about a time or times when God answered a specific prayer for you.  What was your challenge or need, how did you ask, how was it answered?

Also add to this writing:

What individual(s) have had the greatest impact on your spiritual life?
How did they impact your life?

What person(s) in the scriptures would you most like to meet? Why?
How has this person's or persons' story(ies) influenced your life?

A September Morning and Writing Assignment #31 Marriage Part 2

There it was.  I felt it!  Undeniable and yet so real - but it was only for a brief instant. Heading out to my car to drive to the lake for a morning walk and wearing a light weight jacket (a decision based upon the weather forecast for cooler temps) there it was…that sensation of  “There's a touch of autumn in the air”.  An awakening of the senses for just a blink and yet the hope of hot apple cider or caramel apples or pulling on a sweater and curling up with a good book fill my very being.

The morning is bright and crisp, not a cloud in the sky. As I drive, a few leaves swirl down from a tree and one lands on my windshield and lodges itself on a wiper. I happily welcome it along for the ride.   I stop at a red light and watch a big yellow school bus drive by. Every window is occupied by wide eyed children undoubtedly dressed in new school clothes, clinging tightly to new backpacks filled with new pencils and notebooks and the lunch Mom prepared that will have a little note of encouragement taped on top of the sandwich bag – a source of comfort and embarrassment for the little one trying to feel grown up and independent on the first day of school.

Parking at the lake I spy a large new flock of geese making their approach. Squawking in excitement they break their V- formation as they reach their destination from their colder northern summer home and settle happily onto the calm water.

The sky is a brilliant blue, the sun is bright and casts diamonds on the water making it necessary to pull on my sunglasses but it isn’t a hot sun, I’m glad to have worn the jacket.

The walk is delightful and invigorating and I drive home with a happy heart.

I shower, wrap my hair in a towel and getting dressed I spy a blouse from last autumn hanging in the closet. Perfect I think.  I put it on and then discover that the last button is….horrors of horrors…TIGHT!  NOOOOO!!!  How can that be?

And that one button, that one small brown button made from a pinch of a fragile seashell has the power to open a Pandora’s box. My mind is flooded with discouragement, disappointment and all of those demoralizing “Why Try” items on an imaginary list…Why try dieting, why try walking, why try exercising, why try writing, why try painting, why try doing anything, I’m alone, I’m all of the deplorable THIS's and I’m definitely not all of the desirable THAT's! Down – down - down it takes me and then… Imagine the sound of screeching brakes and tires here as a very powerful thought comes to my mind….

“WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE!”

Oh! I have to sit now! I write it down on a post-it note and put it on the refrigerator door.

Who’s in charge here??? Well...I AM.  Not that little button on the blouse, or anything that someone might say, or any memory of loss or any ache or pain.  All of these things can open that Pandora’s box but I can close it just as quickly if I realize that “I AM IN CHARGE HERE!”  And just realizing that weakens the power of those little jabs.

It’s all part of life’s journey isn’t it? Discovering who we are, we - who are each so incredibly unique that there is no one else quite like us and yet we spend a lifetime trying to figure out why we are here, what purpose do we need to fulfill during our turn on earth that is unique to us? How do we get to and then stay en pointe? How do we conquer the negative thoughts?  I take off the blouse and put it back on the hanger (with a little work it will fit just fine next week) and I slip into a more comfortable one.

Going to the fridge I look at the note again…Who’s in Charge Here?”  I open the door and pull out everything required for a healthy lunch which I make with a feeling of power and happily take my plate to the deck to be able to see the silvery light still glistening on the water in the distance as the last of the summer boats speed by. It might take some practice, this mastering of being in control of  what thoughts escape from the dreaded Pandora's box of the mind, but I’m determined not to inadvertently miss or ruin anything while I’m working on myself.  Especially not the gossamer touch of autumn that is in the air today.

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WRITING ASSIGNMENT #31 – MARRIAGE PART 2

• Describe your first home together.
• Tell of your dreams and plans and goals as newlyweds for your future together.
• Tell about the other homes that you have shared together. Where were they? What were they like, how much did they cost?
• Share how you worked together, played together, worshiped together, planned together, raised children together, vacationed together and what made your marriage work.

Uniquely You and Writing Assignment #30 Marriage Part 1

I pulled the door shut and fussed with the old key to lock up our Paris pied de terre.  Adjusting the straps onto my shoulder for my camera, my purse and the canvas shopping bag (a charming but bulky thing I had purchased at the fruit market), I slowly maneuvered my way down the ancient circular stairway…three flights down to the massive front door painted what I call "French Blue" although I’m sure the French don't call it that.  Dale was waiting patiently, holding it open for me, eager to get out and see the day awaken on the streets of Paris. 

Our goal for the day….become part of the place, experience it in an unhurried pace.  Shop at all the local markets and bring home bread and cheese, the freshest of fruit and delectable desserts from the patisserie.

Snap Snap Snap Dale was photographing an elderly man reading his newspaper on a park bench. Snap Snap Snap I focused on a still life…a gray kitten on a window ledge, the window open, a white curtain behind and a flower pot with a pink geranium just inside.  Snap Snap Snap he was photographing a store owner sweeping the stone walk in front of his store with an ancient looking broom  Snap Snap Snap I focused on the glorious arrangement of fresh baked breads on the shelves through the open door of a boulangerie.  So typical of our travels, walking side by side but seeing a different world. 

I’m reminded of the quote by Louise Brown: “Remember that what you have is unique because it’s your own special way of looking at the world.”

I’ve given those of you, who are using the weekly "writing assignments" to prepare your autobiography, a few weeks off to catch up and review but I will start another assignment today.

And if you should need a reminder of the importance of doing this (along with the fact that it’s fun) consider this quote by Spencer W. Kimball:

“Your own private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you.  Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity.  Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant.”

And at another time he further reminded us:

“You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other (person’s) life…what could you do better for your children and your children’s children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved? Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity.”

Still need more reasons to write?  Consider this:

“There may be a healing power in the pen: Psychologists say ‘writing therapy’ effectively boosts both health and mood, even among pessimistic individuals.” (Health Psychology (1998:17(1): 84-92))

I can honestly say that writing this blog has been a remarkable vehicle for helping me maneuver my way down the often slippery slopes of widowhood!

So for these reasons and any more that you can think of…including the very important one >> Well Why Not?  Jump on board and have a go at it.  You can’t make any mistakes…it’s your life!  And you are the best one to write your own life story.  Keeping in mind…

I love Dale’s photographs and stories of his life.  I love what he saw, I love seeing life through his eyes and I treasure that. But even though we shared decades walking side by side through time…I can’t just say “ditto” to his and have it be an accurate account of my life!  My unique life.

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Writing Assignment #30 – Marriage Part 1

How did you meet?

How did he (she) look? What attracted you to him(her)?

Tell about your courtship.  Where did you go? What did you do?

When did you fall in love?

"The Proposal"  Tell about it from your perspective.

"Wedding Day" Tell about it from your perspective.

Give the date of your wedding and the place (describe the features of the place)

How did you feel going to the wedding that day?

Who was there?

What did you wear?

What did he (she) wear?

Take time here to express your love to your spouse and what he or she meant to you on that day...and now.

Better Than a Hallelujah

I’m at a loss for words this morning and to those of you who know me you might consider this to be a rather rare event. Heavy sigh here. 

I’m thinking of how I go to the Lord in daily prayer and pour out my heart with my concerns and worries over the problems of life, seeking for help and guidance. I know I am free to ask and I know without question that He has helped but I’m feeling a twinge of guilt.  I would so much rather be able to spend the time painting an angelic scene to honor Him using vibrant hues of heavenly light filtering through angels’ gowns or doing some sort of incredible humanitarian work that would change the world for the better as a way to sing my praises to Him rather than pleading for help with my broken heart or answers to my health issues or the other problems that accompany my life’s journey but get in the way of accomplishing the more important "songs" of praise.  A tear comes to my eye as I wonder if He is getting weary of my pleas.

I decide to stop writing and focus instead on folding the laundry.  But it’s so very quiet and my thoughts just won’t be distracted so I turn on my iPad and go to Pandora, for some reason I click on a station I’ve never heard before and I go back to my folding….and then I hear a woman’s voice singing these words…

God loves a lullaby

In a mother's tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

I drop the warm towel that I had pulled from the dryer into the basket and listen to the rest of the words…

Better than a church bell ringing
Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

(Better than a Hallelujah sometimes)
Better than a Hallelujah
(Better than a Hallelujah sometimes)

Coming back to the computer I search for the lyrics, it’s by Sarah Hart and Chapin Hartford and being sung by Calee Reed it's called “Better than a Hallelujah”.

I still want to do those things that will be my hallelujahs but in the meantime it’s good to realize that my sincere pleadings are not coming across as annoying as I was beginning to fear but rather to Him they are melodies.

I am grateful that I was prompted to turn on the music right when that song was playing and as I type this, the daily message blings in on my Email:

"The Lord loves every person who might hear His message, and He knows the hearts and circumstances of each one. He knows what correction, what encouragement, and what gospel truth will best help each person to choose his or her way along the path to eternal life." —Henry B. Eyring

And that reminder - that further answer today - tells me that He not only wants to hear my soul's complaint but He is aware and knows just what will help if I will listen and allow it to happen on His time....I close my eyes and whisper happily..."Hallelujah".