Dreams See Us Through to Forever & Writing Assignment #39

Two years into our marriage we moved into the sweetest little apartment, brand new and I loved it! We couldn't believe our good fortune in securing it as we had just placed on names on what we were told was a long waiting list. The move was a requirement as we were faced with vacating our adults only apartment when we happily discovered we would be a family. We settled into domestic bliss with me setting up a cute nursery and Dale tip toeing around pregnancy hormone moments.  As summer came on in full Southern California fashion, the new landlord assured us that the extreme heat would be taken care of with the powerful air- conditioners in each unit.  He failed to mention that the motors of said powerful air-conditioners were all located on the roof of OUR apartment.  As each apartment turned on their AC we were suddenly living inside an ever beating drum! We quickly understood how we got the apartment so speedily.

To protect our sanity we had to try to find another place. Coming home from work one day Dale found and quickly signed his name on the bottom line of a lease for an apartment without my input…pretty much the last time he ever did anything like that!  It was an old place on Roscoe Blvd. with a large sign in front that proclaimed The Roscoe Arms - Lowest Prices Around emblazoned on a coat of arms. Alas, my vanity surfaced I’m afraid but the price was good (as was so blatantly advertised for the world to see) and we did have a child and the accompanying expenses on the way so I decided to grin and bear it without too much of a fuss. The old brown carpeting was so deplorable that we had it ripped up and replaced with some beige carpeting that was being torn out of a home in Dale’s folk’s neighborhood but in much better shape than what we had. We scrubbed and wallpapered and did our best to make it livable.

It was hot, and getting hotter. The outdated AC window unit was woefully lacking in it's intended purpose, hardly able to produce even the slightest breeze of cool air. I was so very pregnant (over due in fact) but we turned on the radio one sweltering evening and listened to the incredible performance of Neil Diamond’s "Hot August Night" concert playing live at the Hollywood Bowl. We spread a quilt on the floor, as if we were there picnicking with the crowd and sipped on tall glasses of cold lemonade and munched on corn dogs, the only thing I craved at that stage! Well, actually, Dale wouldn’t eat them, he was content with the potato salad, but corn dogs with mustard and catsup swirled together was ambrosia to my taste buds! OK, it’s hard to even type that without a wince now but hey like I said…I was so very pregnant!

With Neil Diamond wailing Pack up the babies and Grab the old ladies -Everyone goes -Everyone knows -Brother Love's show - Halle Halle Halle  I unconsciously dabbed at yet another drop of perspiration on my forehead with my napkin thinking that I was somehow very happy and as I glanced over I saw Dale with a look that registered love and a touch of compassionate sadness. He quickly looked away when he caught my eye.

The very next day he came home with a large, ornate gold frame. His eye had zeroed in on it while passing by a garage sale. And what a frame it was - the likes of which would fit nicely into a hall at Versailles.  He had a mirror cut to fit and it took up the better part of the living room wall in that tiny apartment. It was a gift representing a dream for the future. He promised that one day he would give me a home to match the frame.

A promise that he fulfilled, actually several times over as the elaborate mirror followed us for the next 40 years, being carefully packed and unpacked and strategically placed on bigger and better walls with each move.

Sadly, he and our dream frame are gone now but I find that I'm not willing to say goodbye to many of our remaining dreams.

I have experienced so many little miracles since he died that tell me he is close by and it just feels like our dreams didn't die with him - but are very much alive.  Dreams that I'd like to carry through, not alone but with his help.  As I volley that notion back and forth as to the possibility of it all - a song is suddenly filling my mind and heart. He so often speaks to me through the poetry of songs given unexpectedly at just the precise time that I need them! I start humming the music that effortlessly materializes in my head but I have to go to my computer to do a search for the words, I actually only knew a few.  I listen with my heart as I hear him telling me:

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start

Live your story
Faith, hope and glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end

Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away

Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

I realize more and more that it is a blessing to be alive and with his help I can still accomplish many of our dreams if we hold on together. And interestingly for his benefit as well as mine. When I started this new journey of life without Dale I wasn’t sure how it would play out but as I’m looking at the anniversary of his death getting closer and closer indicating that it’s been three years, it’s clear now that we don’t ever have to say goodbye or stop dreaming. I’m glad to know that now. And I feel him saying that whatever I do or wherever I go he will be here for me, we'll hold on together.

Hear Diana Ross sing the song here if you'd like: 

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ASSIGNMENT #39 – A Decade of Living

 Writers…Are you ready to pick back up with the work on your autobiography? I just came upon this precious little poem in the history of my great-great Grandmother as a tribute to her.  It didn’t indicate the author so I can’t give credit but the history was written half a century ago…

No Matter What Else

No matter what else you are doing, from the cradle days to the end

You’re writing your life’s secret story; each night sees another page penned.

Each month ends a thirty day chapter, each year the end of a part

And never an act is misstated, nor even a wish of the heart.

Each morning when you wake the book opens, revealing a page clean and white

What thoughts and what words and what doings, will cover its surface by night?

God leaves that to you, you’re the writer, and never one word will grow dim,

Until someday you’ll write the word “finished”, and give your life’s book back to Him.

Let’s go back a decade from today.  Go back to January 2007 and work your way giving the highlights -with those ever important details, including all of the people, places, things, triumphs, failures, and the general roller coaster ride of life from then until now! 

By now you will have developed your own style of writing, your own voice telling about your own life.  So enjoy sharing what you did and even more importantly, what you learned over the last 10 years of your life. (If children or grandchildren were born or marriages performed – give the names!!! Don’t leave anyone in your family out!)