To love gives you strength - To be loved gives you courage

The sun is up, just barely and with a yawn, so am I. 

We both go silently about our morning tasks.  The sun’s task at this moment is to illuminate the world while my task is to…well, make the bed. 

And it’s silent. And at this brief moment (that rolls around unfailingly and yet unexpectedly each and every morning) I am once again deeply aware of the fact that I am totally, completely and without the distraction of a sound or a smile….All alone.

But today the voice inside my head says; “No you’re not alone, you are with You”. 

I squeeze the pillow I’m holding and think; “Hmmmm” and then as I chuckle and begin to roll my eyes, it seems as if I hear Dale’s voice whisper; “And I used to love being with You”.

My knees buckle and I sit on the edge of the bed.  What a remarkable notion.

This intelligent, charming and witty man used to love being with me! For someone who could carry her ego in a small coin purse, this was an interesting concept.  Perhaps it should be obvious that we are always our own constant companion.  Doesn’t it follow then that we need to love and accept ourselves and glory in the fact that we are unique and interesting and that we should enjoy being in our own company?

My eye shifts to the drawer of my nightstand.  A few days ago, while rummaging through boxes in the garage in the attempt to find an Easter basket, I came upon the long lost battery charger for my beloved old friend, my Nikon SLR Camera. I reluctantly had taken out the camera, charged the battery that had died waiting for me to pick it up these last two years and then replaced the battery and shoved the camera back into the drawer.  I grimaced and shrugged my shoulders at the futility of charging it since going out on photography excursions was such an “us” thing the battery would just die again before I used it.  And die it would because it pained me to remember how at a moment’s notice Dale used to say, “Grab your camera, let’s go out and see what we can see!”  Together we would watch for anything remarkable to capture and the thrill of the clickity click of the shutter was satisfying and joyful.  Side by side we would work and yet our photos were never the same.  He saw things that I didn’t and vice-versa.  Sharing the photos at day’s end was always a delightful event. He always went for the panoramas while I loved to focus in on the smallest, remarkable details.  "God’s in the details", I would tell him.  "I think He’s in the trees and the sky and the clouds" he would tell me.  We were both right.  What’s that saying? Oh yes….“I am so glad you are here, it helps me realize how beautiful my world is.”

But he’s not here and my camera sitting in the drawer has only been an exclamation point on that fact. I don’t want to be alone when I use it.

But with this fresh new concept today…I reach into the drawer and pull out the camera by its telephoto lens.  It feels comfortable in my hands.  Minutes later I am in the car heading toward the lake.

I hadn’t realized it was so cold out, glad I had grabbed my warm jacket.  Due to the low temperature I was the only one at the shore.  “Alone?” I thought.  “Nope not this time” and I hopped out of the car and walked towards the water.

It only took a moment before I was capturing things that intrigued my eye. A pair of Canadian Geese became my willful models until they tired of me and leapt into the water, wings outstretched.

I meandered down the beach snapping shots of drift wood and feathers in the sand and waves lapping onto washed up logs.  And as I stood to pull my collar up against the cold I noticed the two geese floating in the chilly water quietly beside me.  As I wandered a good half mile down the beach, they paddled, when I stopped, they stopped.  And when I realized that my fingers were now too cold to push the shutter release I reluctantly turned to go back and they made a U-turn and glided along silently with me.

I climbed back into my car and as I fastened my seat belt I looked up and smiled as I saw them hop out of the water, stretch out their wings and then comfortably settle back down where I had first found them.

I have been reunited with my camera and now I will take it out on my own little photo shoots...just me…and I’m ok with that.  Thanks dear Dale for this new concept and for perhaps encouraging a couple of geese to accompany my first outing!  Another milestone.