WOOHOO TO WHO? and Writing Assignment #25

I watched a parasailer the other day as he floated over the lake, beneath a parachute of many colors and high above the speed boat that kept him aloft.  “Oh the thrill he must be having” I thought, “The panoramic view; the coolness of the air; the”…and then I thought..”But there is no one with him to hear him exclaim "Woohoo!" No one with him to hear him marvel, "Oh look at that!" and "Oh isn’t this fun!”

So really, how much fun could that actually be?

Well I can tell you the answer to that as I sit here alone; it’s no fun at all. And just as I feel my cheek pull into a smirk I remember the bumper sticker I saw the other day:
 

“THE LIFESTYLE YOU ORDERED IS CURRENTLY OUT OF STOCK”

Well if that isn’t the truth! 

I’ve heard it said that whatever words you use to fill in the blank following the word “I AM ______” is who you become. And since it’s my life, I can fill in my own words - I AM SAD!  I am sad that death came between me and my best friend.  Even after 2 ½ years now I realize that I still can’t say I AM HAPPY.  I have happy moments, I can be completely happy for someone else but I am not or at least my heart is not happy.

Is Dale happy now that he is in a heavenly place?  I hope so, I really do but then I’m shocked to hear my mind repeat the words to the song “Jealous”

I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

Perhaps I’m ashamed for thinking it - him being happy without me!

Perhaps I’m angry at the thought of it

Perhaps I feel that I would feel guilty if I were to be happy without him

Or Perhaps, just perhaps, if I look beyond the jealousy or fear of guilt, I realize it’s perfectly OK for us both to be happy now. And that doesn't separate us but joins us even more closely.

He spent our married life making me happy (as I did him). Why would that change now?  I’m sure he’s saddened by my unhappiness. And HE wouldn’t be jealous if I said I was happy now.  I somehow feel that he understands that if I were to be Happy that it wouldn't mean that I’m happy without him.  Funny but I can hear his voice now saying as he used to say,” I’m happy if you’re happy!”

I am suddenly aware that I have been spending a lot time thinking of all of the things that I AM NOT. Gasp. That only fosters unhappiness.

Well I can see that I have some work to do, it won't just happen because I want it to. It will take work filling in the spaces after I AM ___________.

• Not filling them with negative things, or the self deprecating I AMs as in "I'm so dumb" or I'm so clumsy" Or the I'm Nots as in I'm not as talented or healthy, wealthy or wise as someone else) 
• And of course not the I AMs with things that would be prideful or conceited at all
• But with positive observances, as in I AM __________Therefore I can Be _____________.(and reserve my comparison with others who are better than me as a way to improve myself not to discourage my growth)

Ok, here I go, I should start my list with I AM A CHILD OF GOD and then I AM LOVED for the perfect base for happiness and then go on from there in a more specific way.  Adding more each day and becoming those positive things until as faith would have it I will be able to exclaim I AM HAPPY ~ Even if I’m floating through life now under a one person parasail.  I can still yell WOOHOO!

WRITING ASSIGNMENT #25 I LOVE / I HATE

Love and Hate are emotions that help determine who you are and have been so be specific, be thoughtful and answers these questions:

• To this very day I love__________________________. And I can trace it back to.
• To this very day I hate__________________________. And I can trace it back to.

Repeat as many times as you'd like.