Type dale

Wednesday....Another sleepless night...I fidgeted and tossed and finally sat up in tears.  Unable to find comfort in my loneliness and worry I demanded right out loud "Dale I need you to be here with me and I need you to let me know that you are!"

I immediately felt the words:  "Go to your computer"

It was the very last thing I wanted to do at 2 am.  Was I supposed to work? But the instruction was strong so I flipped on the lamp at my bedside and squinted my tear filled eyes as the light cut through the darkness.

The warm glow of the computer was waiting for me like the friend it has become.  The stalwart artificial intelligent friend that finds the answers to so many of my mortal questions.

"Now what?" I stated as I hovered my hands over the keys.

"Go to Google"  I felt

Okayyyyy.  I almost rolled my eyes.  "I'm here, now what?"

"Type....dale"

At this point I didn't question but just typed in the 4 letters that spell my love and best friend's name...dale.

Up came this:

Urban Dictionary: dale 

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dale

 ·          Urban Dictionary

A very loving loyal and kind human being. Has the looks of an angel and the personality of a saint. A dale will never let you down and will be there for you always ..

It was so like Dale to make me laugh by saying something like he has the looks of an angel and a personality of a saint but then what stood out to me as if the letters were darker than the rest was: Dale will never let you down and will be there for you always.

My heart was calmed, my fears dissolved and I smiled. I was not alone and I knew it.

I went back to bed; clicked off the light; snuggled under the covers; closed my eyes and slept soundly til morning.

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It's been quite a journey, this unscheduled, unwanted, unbelievable voyage of widowhood. This morning I read the words of  Ralph Parlett:

Strength and struggle travel together. The supreme reward of struggle is strength.  Life is a battle and the greatest joy is to overcome. The pursuit of easy things makes men weak...

I look back over the last 16 months since Dale died and I see how I have been strengthened by each struggle I have had to overcome. It has been with faith and hope and the love of family (and of course Dale who never lets me down and is there for me always) that has made it possible for me to get up each morning before dawn, put on my brave and head out into the daily unknown to conquer those struggles.

I saw a little sign for sale in a charming lakeside shop yesterday that read simply:

"Faith makes things possible...not easy"

I don't pray for ease but I pray, in faith, for strength.  I'm seeing that things are not turning out the way I thought they could (the easy way) but oh the blessings that have come my way through faithfully pushing through the struggles!

Each solution seems to also bring another set of challenges but I'm seeing that they are all important milestones leading me to Dale and an eternity together and....until then, I know, because he told me... he's right here for me as well. Whew.

Thank you dear reader for letting me share my thoughts as I seek the right footings along this cobblestone AND blossom strewn path. I'm sending my love and appreciation to you for your kind thoughts and moral support.